I Wanna Love You
by TheBoleynLegacy
Summary: For Inspiration is Key Contest. Alice is alone at a bar reflecting over her relationship with Jasper, she’s heartbroken and doubting their future together. How can she still believe in love after this heartache? oneshot AH won second place


**_an:) thanks to my beta and my friends for their feedback on the story. First time entering a contest, please wish me luck! ;)_**

**_disclaimer:) i don't own Twilight or any of the characters._ **

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**Format- **doc

**Inspiration is Key Contest**

**Title/Topic: **I Wanna Love You

**Penname: **JohnOhismyJasper

**Word Count: **2,178

**Song Choice: **"Into Your Arms" by The Maine

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A blond walked into the bar. No, this is not the start of another tasteless blonde joke, even though it should be, because he hates them just like I hate it when he doesn't keep his promises…or when he keeps me waiting…or when he ignores me, or every time he breaks my heart…just like I hate him now.

_I hate you Jasper Whitlock! _

As the thought passed through all of the craziness in my head, a single tear ran down my cheek and into my drink. I wasn't the kind of girl to drink her troubles away, but just for once I wanted to be irresponsible! I just wanted to forget the last seven years. But most of all, I wanted to forget _him_, because even though my mind keeps saying that I hate him, I know that I'm lying to myself and that this pathetic girl would take him back if he asks. I may be the toughest lawyer in the city, but put me against this man and I would certainly lose. He was my only weakness, and the reason for my sweet misery.

He walked over to his friends. I sighed. I doubt that he even knows I'm here. He was clearly not looking for me. I tried not to let that bother me as I finished my drink and asked for another one. I didn't dare glance in his direction, still, my hands started to sweat and my heart started to race; I had to keep calm. After today I figured that we were probably broken up…let him be somebody else's torture, I thought.

Tears started forming in my eyes again thinking of all that he was to me. It was heartbreaking to think of him with someone else, knowing that he had been my first…everything. My first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first love…and now I'm all alone. No ring, no boyfriend, just alone and heartbroken. I still remembered the day he kissed me for the first time; it was my birthday and we were alone in the backyard.

"_Come on Jasper! I want to show you something!" I said, holding his hand and towing him to the backyard. _

"_Alice, the party is that way," he said pointing to the house. _

_I laughed and took him to the chairs that were close to the bed of flowers my mom had. "Jasper, you know that you are my best friend in the world…"_

_He interrupted me, "You're about to ask me something, aren't you?"_

_I smiled "Yes, but it's nothing bad! I swear…at least I don't think it is." _

"_Just ask me Alice," he said with a sigh_

"_Jasper, I need you to kiss me" I said._

_He stayed quiet for a second. "What? Why?"_

"_I read somewhere that a girl's first kiss is the most important thing in her life, she never forgets her first kiss, and the person who kisses her has her heart forever…and you are the only person I trust with my heart." _

_Jasper rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know Alice…" he wearily said._

"_It's my birthday, so you have to do what I say!" I told him in a demanding tone._

_He moved closer to me and gently pressed his lips against mine, I wrapped my arms around his neck and in response he placed his arms around my hips. The moment was so sweet and intimate, something taken out of a romantic movie. The perfect way to end my birthday, I thought. _

I stopped the tears on time…apparently this night was going to be all about crying. How was I supposed to know that I had had it wrong? I should have never made Jasper kissed me…I never should have trusted him.

"I should have known" I said out loud.

"Should have known what?" the woman next to me asked.

"That boys only lead to heartbreak and hangovers" I said emptying my third glass.

She laughed. "Any woman could have told you that and save you the heartache."

"Then I guess I should have asked," I said.

"That's the problem with young people, they think to know everything" she said, then promptly passed out.

I changed to seat in the corner, no need to sit next to drunken old people. I smiled, sometime after our first kiss Jasper told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me, he told me that he would love me forever, and that wanted to grow old with me.

Lies. All lies.

_We were walking to his car after watching a very scary movie. I of course, had missed half of the movie since I kept hiding my face into his shoulder, and not once throughout the entire movie did I stop holding his hand. The kiss we shared together had been a couple of months ago, and I was glad that it hadn't changed our friendship. I was happy for that…but sometimes I wish I could kiss him again. _

"_Alice?" Jasper said while opening the car's door._

"_Yes?" I asked._

"_Nothing…never mind" he said._

_I didn't think too much about it, but he did seem nervous. He took me home and after a quick good night I got out of the car and walked to the door. Before I could insert the key a hand stopped me._

"_Alice, I love you. I've been trying to tell you all night…I just couldn't find the right words to tell you how much I need you…that you are my first thought when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. Just the mention of your name brings a smile to my face, and every time I have to say bye to you, it breaks my heart and the only thing that keeps me sane is the sound of your voice." Jasper said, pouring his heart out to me._

_I tried to say something but he placed a finger on my lips. "Let me finish. I want to be with you, hold you in my arms when you are afraid, wipe your tears when you are sad, sit with you when you are feeling lonely, and kiss you when you ask me to. I'm sorry I'm telling you like this, that I didn't bring flowers, a card or my guitar to sing you a song. I'm just here telling you the simple truth, I love you…I will always love you." He finished._

"_Always? Even when I'm old and wrinkly?" I asked._

_He smiled. "Even when you are old and wrinkly"_

_I couldn't find a better response than to kiss him, there was no better way to tell Jasper that I love him too than to wrap my arms around his neck and bring his mouth to mine. He got the message._

When a man tells you that, you can't help but imagine that it is the beginning of your happy ending, that the search for your dream prince is over and that the happily ever after you always wanted, finally awaits you. Why do we fool ourselves with such thoughts? Maybe if I wouldn't have taken Jasper's words so seriously, if I wouldn't have believed them as much as I did I wouldn't be in this mess! I would have been able to tell him to go to hell a long time ago and right now I wouldn't be here surrounded by drunken people. He said that he would love me forever, but if it was true, then why is it so hard for him to give me a ring? Why is it that any wedding-related conversation turns into a fight? The one we had this morning was the worst of all of our fights, and sometimes I just wondered why he just doesn't tell me that he doesn't love me so I can start rebuilding my life without him? I guess I just need an excuse to hate him without feeling like I'm lying to myself.

_I woke up early to get ready for work. Jasper was still sleeping, one of the__perks about being a musician I guess, you don't have to wake up early. I got ready and left to the office. I had decided last night that Jasper and I were going to have a talk about our future together, if there was one. Work was normal; nothing too out of the ordinary, today I didn't had court. When I got home, I found Jasper sitting in the couch wearing just black pants and playing his guitar. _

_I took a deep breath and went right to the point. "Jasper… I need to know if you ever plan on marrying me, you know, before we spend any more time together. I need to be sure that you are serious about this relationship"_

_He put his guitar away "I don't know Alice, can we have this conversation later?" _

"_No, I need to know now," I said, standing firmly on my ground._

"_Look, if you had a rough day at the office there is no need to take out on me" he said. _

_This got me mad "I'm not having this conversation because I had a bad day! I'm having it because I want to know what to expect from you!" I was almost yelling. _

_He got up "Expect from me? What do you want to expect from me?" _

"_I want a ring!!! I want you to want to marry me!" Was it really that hard to figure it out?_

_He laughed sarcastically "Let me see if I hear you correctly. You want me for me to want to marry you…anything else?"_

"_This isn't funny!! Either you want to marry me or you don't. Either you want to be with me or you don't. Either you love me or you don't! I want my answer!"_

"_I'm not sure." was all he said._

_This wasn't the answer I was expecting. I wanted for him to tell me to stop being silly and that he did love me and wanted to marry me…I had no answer for _this_ response. _

"_Then I guess I'm not sure I want to continue in this relationship" I said, walking out the door. _

Now here I am, heartbroken and half-drunk. I looked in Jasper's direction; he was laughing and drinking with his friends. This was the image that broke me down. How could he be so cheerful? Didn't he care that he lost me at all? I couldn't hold back the tears, and because I'm against crying in public I decided to leave the bar before anyone could notice.

It was raining outside, but I saw this as a plus…I could let the tears fall without anyone knowing that I was crying. The image of Jasper laughing was still in my head, seeing him like that, so happy…so carefree made me realize that I would never be able to hate him. I love him too much and nothing could change that. So what if he didn't want to be with me, at least I could let him find someone else, someone that could make him happy. I loved him _that_ much.

I was walking down the street when someone grabbed my hand. I was turned around and before I could react I saw Jasper kneeling in front of me with a ring in his hand.

"I can't bear to let you walk out on me again" he said.

I didn't say anything; I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Was this really happening?

"Alice, I stand on what I say about loving you forever…but I'm adding something else I should have said before. I should have promised to always make you happy. I said that the sole mention of your name makes me smile, but I should have worried about making you smile, and if this ring is what it takes then you can have it with one condition." He breathed out.

"Which is?" I asked.

"You have to marry me and promise me that you will be with me forever" he answered with a smile.

I was about to say yes when some lights blinded me. I realized, too late, that we were in the middle of the street and a car was passing. I waited for the impact but what I felt instead was Jasper pushing me and putting himself in front of me so the car would hit him first. I couldn't believe this was happening! The next thing I heard was the sound of a forceful break. The car stopped just in time to not hit Jasper or me.

"Are you ok?" Jasper asked me. I just nodded.

He picked up the ring from the pavement and put it on my finger. "So, what do you say? Will you marry me?"

I didn't need to say anything; instead, I gave him the same answer I did years ago when he told me he loved me.


End file.
